What to text your ex after no contact reddit

It works. The more time you have away from the guy that broke your heart, the more you can get your head straight and figure out what you really want.

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Maybe you want to get back together. Learn how with my Winning Him Back program. Okay, let me break it down for you: with the no contact rule, you go 21 days without interacting with that guy that broke your heart.

Does it work? These women had time to clear their heads and really consider what they wanted. Some realized that they were mooning over the wrong man. Others had time and space to realize that this man was worth fighting for.

Those folks got back together and have even stronger relationships than they did before. When a guy dumps you, you lose your power in the relationship. You had no say in the matter. If you keep in contact, you might be obsessing over him and your relationshipwhich also takes power away from you.

What to Text Your Ex After No Contact!

Honestly, it should make him want you more because he had to wait. Be patient with me. Consider your relationship like a drug. If you want to break your addiction, you detox. You go cold turkey.

How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Eventually, those drugs work themselves out of your system and you can function normally again. This man is your drug. But that might be the best move for you. Your first and foremost goal right now should be to heal that heartbreak. Even if you do ultimately get back together, you still need to heal.

what to text your ex after no contact reddit

Things need to change. You need to rip out the walls and rebuild on your foundation. You might need to reflect on how you were in the relationship and make some changes moving forward.

He might, too. Having time away gives you the opportunity to see things clearly. You might realize that you were selfish, and then you can work on learning to be a better partner. You might realize this relationship was destined to go nowhere, and you can learn to be whole on your own so that you are open to finding real and sustainable love.

Take this time for you. Talk to friends. Unable to eat. Your immune system weakens. The longer you put your attention on this man, the breakup, and what went wrong, the more that negative energy seeps in.

Adhering to the no contact rule, on the other hand, dispels that negative energy and gives you a chance to feel whole again. You can get back to activities you enjoyed before your relationship your tennis game is looking pretty rusty; why not start there? I think the whole fairytale genre and romcom industry has done women a disservice. They paint a false picture of what love and relationships should be like, and make it too easy for women to build fantasies around their actual relationships.But the rule has just as many beneficial effects on you, the person who is implementing it.

It gives you some breathing room and allows you to recollect yourself after an emotionally tumultuous event such as a break-up. After a couple splits, both parties are emotionally tense. This, more often than not, affects us mentally and prevents us from thinking straight. It prevents us from continuing making mistakes or making any in the first place. It allows us to come back with a plan and make sure we are in the proper mindset, free of emotional dependency, unfearful of rejection, and devoid of any need for validation from our ex.

Imagine you were a boxer in a fight. So, what to do after no contact rule? Your must keep certain strategic points in mind with breaking the Radio Silence and learning how to talk to an ex again.

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I say learning because the stage you are about to enter with your ex is completely new territory, and you need to be as confident and courageous crossing this brand new emotional landscape as you would be traversing an unknown physical landscape.

We are not reverting to the old ways of communicating that existed between you prior to the break-up. By necessity, if you want your ex backyou must try something new in order to create something better than before. Seeming unavailable, or having limited availability is key to seduction. They need to know that they earned it, struggled for it, overcame the challenge that stood in the way of getting what they wanted. This applies as equally to relationships and people as it does to material things.

This is why people who seem unavailable or have limited availability are attractive and desirable. This truth is the driving factor behind it. Everyone is different. Consequently, this makes all relationships different and unique in their own way, regardless of how similar they may seem to one another. The key to how to get your ex back after no contact is not about how long you wait, but what you do during the no contact period. The goal is not to hold out for a set amount of time.

The goal is, rather, to regain a sense of inner peace and well being, no matter how long it takes. When you are recentered after a break-up and after implementing the no contact rule, you will have regained your sense of value and worth. Therefore, it is always better to wait longer and be safe than sorry to achieve this than be overzealous and over-shooting the ongoing attempt to get back with your ex. Again, there is no right or wrong answer to this and the answer will vary from relationship to relationship.

A classic technique that we always encourage our clients to implement is a handwritten letter. A letter is an amazing way to reconnect because of the surprise element inherent in it.It says, quite simply, that before you start making any move toward getting back together, you need to go through a period of time when you have no contact with an ex. For most people, this is not easy to do. He says this is the best length of time to go without seeing, phoning or texting your ex.

Some online sources suggest waiting even longer. But 30 days of no contact is enough in most cases.

what to text your ex after no contact reddit

You can be cool — and you have to be cool if you want your ex back. To discover more about how the no contact rule works and exactly how to make an ex want you back, check out Text Your Ex Back here. The no contact rule works in a lot of cases because it gives the space you both need to stop acting on raw emotion and start thinking realistically about how you can reestablish your relationship and build it to be stronger next time around.

But also:. In a few cases there might be reasons why some contact between you is necessary. You might have kids and need to arrange access visits.

You might even work together. What would you do if this was a person that you never wanted to see or hear from again? Some ideas:. Use the stairs to avoid meeting in the elevator. You might be able to make a good career move from the situation. Use your friends and family during this time. Most of those people will be glad to help you — if you just ask!

Think of all the future that you might have together — the years of happiness. It helps if you can see the next steps ahead of you too. Please, help me to understand my situation better. We were together more than 5 years, engaged, bought a house, adopted two dogs. He was happy, I was happy. All of sudden two months ago he told me that he wants to be single again. Just live alone and have sex sometimes with different girls. After one month we spent 3 days together it was like honeymoon but then he said — nothing changed… I left.

Blocked him in Facebook, changed my phone number. Yesterday at 10am I created a profile on a date site. At he found me and marked me as his favorite person.

This could have been worse. You may meet someone who is more sure of what they want. I would do that, if I were you. Otherwise you will feel he is there always in the background of your activity. Thank you.No Contact can be tough, but you made it through! Now that your no contact period is coming to an end, here are the 10 things you absolutely have to do next. No Contact is still the best strategy to get your ex back. The KEY to getting your ex back is to build attraction naturally.

The LAST thing you want to do is undo all the hard work that you put in over the last month or so. You do NOT want to transform back into the jealous, emotional, and hysterical version of yourself if that was the case.

Instead, make sure that you have a powerful and confident mindset moving forward. The goal of this step is to simply establish positive communication so you can escalate to a date or potential meetup. To do this, you can use one of the many text messages that I outline in my Ex Factor Guide program.

An example of this would be something like…. Hey you! I know you were just there a couple years ago and thought I could pick your brain a bit. That cool? Right now, this is all you have to do to establish positive communication with your ex. Instead, play it cool. Instead, wait a couple of hours.

These are questions that are specifically designed to bait them into ask you personal questions about your life. Thanks for helping me out.

This is your time to shine and let him or her know how well things have been going for you. And remember to absolutely avoid bringing up YOUR past relationship with him or her.

You need to focus on keeping the conversation light, fun, and fluffy! No need for negativity or drama whatsoever. Click here to take my short, 4 minute quiz.

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You can do this a number of ways, but depending on how your relationship ended previously, you might need to re-work your strategy.It worked extremely well. I think it worked so well because it uses a combination of different types of texts, each with a specific purpose. These texts slowly rekindle those fun and loving feelings from the past that can really open your ex to the idea of being with you again. Too many people make the mistake of wanting to solve all their relationship problems and end the breakup overnight.

So they go charging in with thumbs blazing and send off dozens of texts that make it sound like they are begging, pleading, or just flat out desperate.

All it does is make you look needy, unattractive, and flat out undesirable. As you are already well aware, no contact is always the first step if you want your ex back. Or you might be in the middle of it right now and are looking to the future to see what to do next.

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So congrats on getting through that. These are:. The best way to start texting your ex after no contact is to send an across the bow text. Instead, across the bow texts focus on creating a positive texting environment through which you and your ex can communicate when they are ready.

Once the lines of communication are open after no contact, you should begin to use best of the relationship texts. These texts are similar to best of the relationship texts, but they are more intimate. They help evoke feelings of closeness, togetherness, and attachment. These texts are incredibly powerful because there is a lot of psychology involved.

The purpose of these texts is to use jealousy in a positive way. When done correctly, they make your ex afraid of losing you. Last on the list of texts that are perfect for getting your ex back after no contact are the emotional honesty texts.

People tend to lead with these types of texts which is exactly the wrong approach. With emotional honesty texts, you open your heart to your ex, lay it on the line, and explain how you truly feel and what you want out of the relationship.

That honor goes to a relationship coach by the name of Michael Fiore. Inside his Text Your Ex Back programMichael Fiore shows you how to use all 5 of these text messages in a systematic way to get your ex back.

No Contact Rule: 9 HUGE Benefits of Going Silent After a Breakup

It makes it so easy because it takes all the guesswork out of what to send and what to say to your ex. Basically, you just take his text message examples, and modify them ever so slightly to fit your own relationship in the best way possible. He also explains a lot about the psychology behind the texts, why they work, and why they need to be sent in a specific order.If used carefully, text messages can be a very powerful tool to get back together with your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend.

So, are you ready to learn how to use text messages to win back your ex? Texting can be an extremely effective method of establishing rapport, trust, and attraction with your ex… if executed correctly. This sort of dynamic allows you time to think about what to say before you actually say it. With most of my coaching clients, I tell them that texting is usually the best route when communicating with their exes … although there are occasionally certain scenarios where texting might not be the right move.

For instance, if you and your ex never texted one another during your relationship, it might be weird to all of a sudden start texting him or her.

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Below are several things you absolutely should NOT do if you want to get your ex back through texting. And when logic goes out the window, people tend to send 3 kinds of BAD text messages. While venting can be therapeutic, saying mean things to your ex will ruin your chances of ever rebuilding a relationship with him or her.

If you find yourself angry with your ex, then give yourself a moment to cool down before you pick up your phone. After all…. Or to win them back and make them love you again? So take a chill pill, relax, and live to fight another day. Annoying, right? No surprise there.

what to text your ex after no contact reddit

When you send your ex a message like these examples above, you might think that these texts sound honest and sweet. Am I screwed or is there a chance of salvaging my situation? The quick answer is yes, there is a chance you can recover from these mistakes and there probably is a chance you can get back on the road of winning your ex back.

Right now, your ex is feeling annoyed or angered by your text messages and rightfully so. The next logical step, therefore, is to remove all the negative feelings your ex has of you by sending a quick apology text and employing the no-contact strategy.

Other things have been stressing me on top of this breakout and I lashed out. Wish you luck. This text message accomplishes two things — you apologize to your ex and you give yourself an excuse for acting inappropriately.

What you need to do, therefore, is to take that power away from them so that they begin to start chasing you. For example, imagine your ex sends you a message 15 days into the no-contact period and he or she gets no reply for several days. Your ex will start constantly checking his or her phone, waiting for a response. This is exactly why no-contact works so brilliantly. It turns the tables upside down and makes your ex WANT to talk to you. Make sense? Need help coming up with a surefire plan to win back your ex?

Building rapport is a crucial starting point. So what kind of text should you be sending? You want to send something that makes them feel good… AND has actual value. For example:. Hope everything is going well.

what to text your ex after no contact reddit

Why does this text message work? The goal of this text message is to remind your ex of a positive experience you two shared while you were together, without appearing awkward or weird. For example, you could say:. What was the name of that restaurant again?Some will promise you magic results from following a, or day no contact rule. Do not—I repeat, do NOT—expect that a preset number of days works when it comes to no contact. Too many rejected dumpees will cave in on the 31st, 61st, or 91st day after preset no contact and reach out to their exes.

And guess what happens?

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Absolutely nothing. So on the 91st day, you break no contact, hoping to re-attract your ex. Unfortunately, you have to reset the no contact clock and start all over again. You wasted those first 90 days. Use the indefinite no contact rule instead and forget about these set amounts of days. Have you ever heard that every person is different? So is your ex and only time will tell when he or she is ready to talk. You contacting your ex first, only proves you need them more than they need you. This further reinforces their belief for the need of separation, while keeping their ego inflated.

Unless your ex is drunk or booty-calling, he will normally send you a text. Here are a few case scenarios in which your ex may break no contact:. The best assumption that is the healthiest for your mental state is to believe your ex still wants you in his life to some capacity.

It could be to chat, speak, or see you. Maybe he wants to explore a beneficial sexual, non-committed relationship. Unless he truly needs something from you, you should assume he is freely choosing to initiate a conversation with you. This would technically count as the breach of no contact because your ex contacted you first. You will feel as if you graduated in psychology for analyzing the human mind and understanding complex ex-partner behavior.

The quest for solving this mystery is going to drain you mentally, making you overanalyze every tiny detail. For you, this is the most important reason why you should steer away from your ex as much as possible during no contact. Stalking him on social media is going to drive you insane. By the time she reaches out, I need you to be out of the state of desperation.


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